Death....Grief....Death....Grief

:( :( :(  It's totally a sad thing... Some peeps take them easily and calmly but peeps like me take it as a burden and as a saddest part of their life when it comes to their family members, their friends and their loved ones...
For me Death & Grief is the one element that I hate most in life, not afraid of me departing but my loved ones whom I would cherish forever....

Since the death of my little brother and my Granny 11 years ago, I would continuously say this prayer till now: "Lord, Please depart me first before others whom I loved", this is the only weapon that keeps my faith and my inner most feelings stronger as days past afraid of someone being death.....
I can't and i won't take the death of my love ones as a trial from GOD which I should, cause my feeling's and my soul is not strong enough to withstand the feeling of one's death...
Thru enough this week my heart had to pass many deaths...

1) On the way for my practicals late last week, I encountered death at the shoulder of the road, a guy lying down there, death + intracranial Hemorrhage due to the force on the hea, there were no sign of accident or anything, it just occur like that... For thruout the day my mood was darken and blacken with this tragic incident....

2) Last night one of my friend called only to say that one of our course mate had died in her sleep at her hostel.. she was my junior, I don't really know her, and yet still I felt like Arghghghghhghghghghghghgh.........

3) Earlier this morning, my friend text me, that one of our Ex- secondary school teacher had passed away this morning.........................................................

4) Later in the night, my aunt called and told that one of my mom's childhood friend had passed away too today.....

5) Japan & Burma's Earthquake which might had cost Thousands of life..........................................

Well, this is all GOD's plan but to this one and only of his plan I can't agree with which I should agree....!

"God, please give me the courage to face one's death as easy as accepting one's life, and I also pray that if possible depart me first before my loved ones, I know I'm acting selfishly, but I can't help it Lord, AMEN"

R.I.P my dear friends & Loved ones!

Thanks @ Reading